Living

I have Mom Guilt and it’s Okay

A weekend away – without the family – is quite relaxing. But, there is a truckload of Mom Guilt that comes with it. Being okay that you missed the soccer game, the classmate’s water park birthday party or your oldest’s 1st tooth fall out is tough. In the last 3 months I’ve been away quite a bit for work and during these times I’ve missed some milestones and plenty of moments. It’s okay. It happens. There is just a lot of Mom Guilt that comes with each trip.

Sipping Frozen Mojito instead of being on the soccer sidelines causes Mom Guilt. #Mom2Summit

In March, as I enjoyed a few days in Northern California with the EBAY Parent Panel, my oldest lost her 1st tooth. I remember getting that email from my mom, sharing the excitement. It was such a bittersweet moment. My daughter was thrilled about her lost tooth. I was so sad not to be there with her. I was even more worried that the Tooth Fairy/SmartyPantDada wouldn’t remember his job that night. Yes, I had to remind the Tooth Fairy nearly a dozen times to have cash on hand and to write a note. I don’t think I slept that night, worried he would forget. Thankfully, and a bit miraculously, the Tooth Fairy got the job done and my daughter called me 1st thing in the morning with tremendous excitement that the Tooth Fairy had left her $5 and a note. I smiled, with a tear going down my cheek. I wish I was there with her to see her now toothless smile as she read the letter and stuffed the bill in her piggy bank. The need to spoil her at the ultra expensive airport gift shop helped me deal with the missed event. The Mom Guilt was horrible.

The following month it was my baby, at that time nearly 11 months, to hit a milestone when I wasn’t home. As I enjoyed my days at Hispanicize, the SXSW of the Hispanic community, I got a call from my husband. The baby had taken her 1st steps on her own. Needless to say, I brought her to the conference with me the next day and witnessed her 1st steps in a session led by the Pichy Boys. That was total Mom Guilt in play. Taking a baby to a conference, especially one who just learned to walk and has no interest in being constrained in a stroller, was possibly one of the most exhausting things I’ve done!

Baby loving the Target Suite at #Hispz12

Mom Guilt at Versace Mansion - Not a bad place for it! #Mom2Summit

Then it was this past weekend. Was it necessary for my husband to text me a million photos of him and the girls? Yes. I loved getting every single one. The Mom 2.0 Summit was thankfully just 30 minutes from home but I treated it like it was in another state. I stayed there, at a condo next door to the hotel with Alexis. The texts of “we miss you” were so hard to swallow. I was so close yet not there with them. When I returned on Sunday, absolutely 100 % exhausted, my 5 year old who was thrilled to see me asked if we could go to Samuri, a local hibachi restaurant. No desire to go. All I wanted was to lie on the couch and cuddle with the kids and husband. After a little rest, I washed my face, brushed my hair and got the diaper bag ready. All  4 of us headed to the restaurant – which had us wait 40 minutes for a table and then another 30 minutes before we had an ounce of food to eat. Mom Guilt was pushed to the limit. All worth it though. She was thrilled, as was the delirious nearly 1 year old who was up an hour past her bedtime!

Dinner at Samuri because of Mom Guilt.

All of these events that took me away from my wonderful family were important. As I continue to put effort in my social media career, I need to invest time through conferences and commitments to contracts with brands like EBAY, Country Crock and others. It’s okay. My trips are a few days at a time. I’m a phone call away. There’s Skype and FaceTime. I can stay connected and see moments like my daughter’s toothless grin. There will always be Mom Guilt, it’s part of being a mom. I’m not ashamed and I will gladly spoil my children with each trip!

How do you handle Mom Guilt?

 

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7 comments

  1. Noble Pig - Cathy 7 May, 2012 at 15:42 Reply

    Mom guilt….totally normal but the investments you make in yourself at these conferences are worth so much. Also..from a mom of many tooth fairy visits, don’t forget to tell the kids we don’t know what nights the tooth fairy has off….it so happens…more than once.

  2. Jackie 7 May, 2012 at 17:41 Reply

    What’s great is that you have the opportunity to go to all of those conferences! The mom guilt is just part of the territory of being a mom and honestly it’s good for you to get away for a while!

  3. Kimberly 8 May, 2012 at 08:10 Reply

    Oh, that Mom Guilt gets us every time, doesn’t it? I am so rarely away from my boys, so I don’t have it much…but there have been times where they each have an activity (recital, basketball game) at the same time. Then I have to choose somehow. Because there’s only ONE of me. I’ve been known to do half of a bball game and half of a recital within an hour.

  4. Amanda 8 May, 2012 at 13:46 Reply

    Our tooth fairy has had a day off, on occasion. 😉
    That mom guilt is always there. I know I’d rather be at home with the boys than at work all day. Our circumstances are different, but the same feelings apply.
    I love that your daughter loves Samurai! My two would have preferred Five Guys or McDonald’s.

  5. Jill 9 May, 2012 at 23:25 Reply

    As a single mom who has traveled frequently (monthly) with work perhaps I’ve just learned to deal with the mom guilt. *Most of the time*. I handle it well most of the time, probably because I don’t have a choice. Man, it sucks that you missed those really big events for your kids, but your little one that just walked isn’t going to remember that you weren’t there. And I’m sure the 5 year old will cherish that $5 and those airport gifts with the memory of that year when she lost her first tooth and got super awesome payout. She won’t remember that you weren’t there.

    I know you call it mom guilt. And it is, but I think you should give yourself a little bit of a break. You are a fabulous mom and you would definitely know the difference of when it’s okay to leave and when it isn’t. And besides, you are doing really FABULOUS things. The Versace mansion!?

    Going to hibachi dead tired – she is going to remember THAT. Not that you were tired, but that you all had a great time. And she will forever have that photo with the hat over her face. THOSE are the moments that you need to keep close. Not the moments that you missed. 🙂

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